Tag:Barry Bonds
Posted on: February 6, 2009 4:17 pm

Bad People

There are just so many of these to talk about these days. So I decided to make a little list.

Scott Boras: I know lawyers aren't good at math, but does this guy have any conception of the word "recession"? What about "severe recession"? Apparently not. On top of that shortcoming, he has basically threatened the Dodgers for "playing chicken" (a phrase, to describe the Manny situation, which he stole from Dodgers' management). The Dodgers' front office went as far as saying Boras is "difficult to work with" -- loosely translated, I take that to mean, "this guy is a snake." He is horrible for sports, and wonderful for greed.

Manny: I consider his situation to be only slightly his fault. One, I think he really does want more years than he is being offered. However, he could help himself by lowering his asking price for those years. Two, I think he, like most Boras clients, is essentially under the complete control of his agent.

Roid Freaks (McGwire, Clemens, Bonds): What else needs to be said about these losers? I must say, it's nice to see that two white guys were all but conclusively roid-riddled during their playing says -- it removes the whole discussion of race (or it should). Still, it doesn't help that two of these guys are complete a-holes, and the third is barely passable as a decent guy (Clemens). Seriously, though...has anyone ever seen someone not on roids throw a bat-shard at another player? And then claim he thought it was the ball? (Apparently, throwing the ball at a first-base-destined Piazza made sense to Rodge. Or not...)

Michael Phelps: Okay, I don't actually think he's a bad guy. He's just an idiot. When you win 8 golds, you're under scrutiny. You're surrounded by people with cameras and stuff to gain. Be aware, or be made a fool of.

Octuplet Lady: This involves somewhat of a presumption, so please accept my apology in the event I have presumed wrong. But how does a woman who had eight kids at once (multiplying her cost of living by about...say, eight) justify pumping her cheeks and lips full of plastic? Take away this woman's subsidies, immediately. (Anyone who saw her interview this morning knows what I'm talking about. She looked like a clown-duck.)

Ray Lewis: Last week I wrote the opposite about Terrell Suggs, who was willing to take a pay cut to keep his end of the dominating Ravens defense in Baltimore. Leave it to Ray Lewis, who has always been as nauseating (if not legitimately dangerous) off the field as he is phenomenal on it, to spit the following gem: "If you don't play less, you don't take less." Wow. Now there's a guy who gets it. Great team player. (Sense the repeated sarcasm.)

Congress: Enough grandstanding; enough pork. You have a country suffocating while miguidedly depending on you. Just figure out how to fix the economy and get it done. There are 600+ of you. Jesus.

It's not all bad, however. I wanted to pay homage to Santonio Holmes after seeing his Leno appearance last night. Yes, he got caught with pot. I hate pot, so I am not inclined to just let guys off the hook for that kind of thing. But anyone who saw him on Leno should know that he is incredibly well-meaning. He was incredibly soft-spoken, seemed gracious and humble, and even plugged an online auction (of the gloves he wore during the Super Bowl, autographed), the porceeds of which will go to Sickle Cell research. (Holmes' son has a sickle cell-related afflication.)



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